The Search for Conscientious Optimism -or- Reflections on Learning a New World View

Reading a new book about consciousness and living aware, I have found a lot of talk about “envisioning the positive future you want for yourself.”  I have been told that I can learn to be optimistic, positive, and hopeful. I want to believe that is true, I am just having a difficult time finding ways to go about it.

I know that I can change aspects of myself; I have done so many times before.  In elementary school I was the shy, scared, timid loner who was shocked when people knew who I was. By high school, I joined the debate team and competed in public speaking and debate in front of people every weekend, I had friends, and I was much less afraid of who I was.
When I was in AIM, I started off with many bad habits. I needed lots of refining. My teammate in Mexico took it upon herself to help me and I began to change. I not only changed the negative, but made many improvements to my personality. I was less defensive and had stopped battling with myself over success.

I can change, I just can’t find anyone to explain how.

How can I change the core of the way I see the world?

I don’t want to believe the world is bad and terrible, but that is simply how I see it. There are so many acts of violence, so much sadness, pain, and fear. How can I ignore that to focus on the good when I feel the weight of suffering around me?  There are wells of sorrow and suffering that pour out into the world, people living in despair, alone in suffering, all of us marching on daily toward an unknown moment when it will end, and the weight of all the sadness fills my heart and I weep for those who are in the dark moments, who are without hope. 

I know there is hope, I know that there is light and goodness, kindness, service and acts of devotion. Yet, can I focus on those positives without ignoring and forgetting those whose hearts are withering in pain?