I've been having a difficult time with being a mother. My child is wonderful! He is not only the cutest baby in the universe, but also the greatest joy I've ever known. The struggle comes in the form of me not being prepared for him.
I was sick for almost all of my pregnancy. Very sick. I didn't get to prepare a space for him in our house, much less make him all the cute things I'd hoped to make. I'd like to make them now. I'd like to welcome him into the world.
The problem is, my angel has one flaw... he's really bad at sleeping. He's tired, sleepy, yawning, rubbing his face, and then drifts off, but only if I'm holding him or we're driving. He will sleep as long as I keep holding him or driving.
That leaves very little time for things like eating, showering, and laundry. It makes sewing a floor mat that would be super helpful during tummy time an impossibility.
This frustration weighs on me. I'm not complaining, simply expressing what I'm feeling. I'm so tired, but I still wouldn't trade my son for anything. Yet, after what feels like days without sleep, I lose my ability to be a joyful mother. I lose perspective.
I found a blog post by a mother who talked about things in life being seasons...
So now, my attitude is very different. Instead of trying to make time for the other things, I've let them go. Making things used to be my job. Now, he is my full time job. Making things is a blissful bonus.
I'll check back in when I can to share how it's going... until then, God's blessings to you all.
No comments:
Post a Comment