Advanced Planning

 My sister-in-law and her amazing family are planning to go to Disney World in 12/2022. She has invited us and many other family members to join them and my husband really wants to go. 

It is difficult for me to think about this when, right now, we are struggling to stay in the black and we can barely afford food. So, in an effort to make this trip happen, I am starting to plan right now. I am going to try to think of... everything. I am going to overbudget, consider all Florida has to offer, and look at our options. I want a complete trip guide with Plan A, Plan B, Plan C, and so on. This will make it as stress free for me as possible, as we have a series of premade solutions. 

So, after I create some spreadsheets, I will need some information. This is a daunting thing for me and I am grateful she has given us two years notice... 

Virtual is Reality

 We are not in the Twilight Zone. We are in the 2020 zone. A year of breaking points, catalysts, and pivotal change. Globally, we have seen enough and heard enough, bled enough. Our planet is in transition, gasping and fighting back against her attackers. 

In the United States, we have seen the willfully ignorant scramble to cling to privileges they claim don't exist. They are killing people because they exist and denying that it is genocide. We have faced so many things this year alone, and now our virtual world is more real than ever. We are looking to technology to ease the burdens of our reality and our weariness. We are hoping it will keep us safe from the treats, microscopic, environmental, and violence. We are depending on each other more, though we are further apart. 

As we move into home learning for the five-year-old's step into formal education, I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to homeschool. We are working on a Kindergarten/First grade hybrid learning model and things are starting to settle into an understanding, a respectful routine for learning and growing. I understand that we are blessed beyond measure, for this opportunity, for this time together.

I am also constantly aware that my safety and my blessings come with an enormous weight. The responsibility of my calling is a constant weight. A constant gnawing at my nerves. I must speak up for the voiceless. I must call out to those in power to take action and create a more equitable world. I must do all I can to serve those who are in need. 

There are more communication resources, more opportunities to enact change more power in the individual than ever before. Though, this power goes both ways. There is more power for one dark minded individual to gain a following. That means we have to be vigilant.  The director of a human-trafficking rescue program said something profound, that she is committed to "sharing as much light as we witness darkness." I love her work and her leadership, and her soul. We must act on the impulses for good, that we may be the light and ignite the lanterns of community, service, and love. Together we can drive out hate and darkness. Together we can connect with our consciousness, being virtually everywhere, while going virtually no where. 

I know that these thought of mine are not profound. They are not unique, not vital, not most eloquent nor succinct. However, if we continue to speak them, our chorus of encouragement might change one heart, buoy one spirit, spark one idea... and those are the little things that have the power to change the world.  

So, as I sit at the dining table of my friend of 22 years, listening to our 5 year-olds playing in the living room, drinking coffee and writing this, I am aware of my blessings and the great responsibility that lies ahead. 

No Fanfare

My return to writing is one that I think about daily, but try to damper. The world is full of words, text, thoughts, and feelings. Tragedies, both fact and fiction, and most a combination of the two. Comprehension of information is limited to the human capacity for consuming it. I think we are all near a breaking point in that regard. 

I sat down to list the tragedies and atrocities for the preceding six-months and I was overcome with despair. I return to writing for myself. I return to written words as a means of processing the pain and lifting the burden of it off my shoulders for a moment, just to collect my thoughts. I know that I will pick it back up and carry it again, but perhaps in a better packed way. 

I return with no fanfare, just as so many in this world live in pain and hopelessness, dying in obscurity with immeasurable pain. I return that I may give voice to their lives and voice to their cries. I return to tell the stories of lives. The truth and the fiction bound in perception, but tangible and sharp. There are things that are objectively true, resoundingly true, provably factual, and there is no shortage of people who choose to deny that truth on the grounds that their subjectivity is inconvenienced by it. 

But, that is a story for another post. 

If you are still here, greetings. If no one else ever reads it, it will still have served its purpose. 

What Are You Living, REALLY?

The issue of modern American "Christianity" is one that has been a hot-button issue lately.

I have faith in God because I have studied enough to know the history of things. I see no way around the fact that God is real. I have read many history books. I have also seen His love and work encompassing a magnitude of terrible things for the benefit of His glory and those who love Him. However, it seems that there are many Christians living in America today holding court to some white-washed Jesus that I don't recognize.

The Jesus of the bible was an outcast, a ragamuffin, a homeless carpenter who rebelled against modern priests, modern philosophers, and sought to serve the poor, the sinners, the lost. He said that He came to seek and save the lost. He bucked tradition, He called out hypocrisy, He loved the unclean, He dined with thieves, He washed filthy feet, He touched, healed, and walked around the Middle East for those souls the priests wouldn't even spit on. (To get technical, He rubbed muddy spit on them, but that was to heal them. Still, kinda gross.)

I am tired of the holier than thou, "I paid it forward in the Starbucks line." type of Christians I see everyday. They profess "Christianity" and advocate for things I can't see Jesus having supported at all; war, guns, nationalism over people, etc.

Many American "Christians" I have talked to want American to be a "CHRISTIAN NATION." They claim that the Founding Father's wanted that, too. (They didn't. There is proof they didn't. Many of them weren't faithful Christians at all. Many letters still exist about how they didn't want religion associated with the government at all. One such document is fairly widely recognized, the Constitution.)

Quick question: You want to explain to me how: You want this to be a "Christian Nation" but you don't want to take care of people?

You want the Government to be "Christian," but you:
... oppose universal health care rights.
... oppose paid family leave.
... don't support helping the homeless.
... don't support helping the orphans.

... don't support helping the marginalized.

... don't support helping the elderly.

... don't support helping those God commanded you to serve, care for, and protect.

... don't believe scientists asking for help to protect earth from the rapid onset of climate change.

... oppose gun control for the mentally ill.

... support the barring of immigrants.
... you support the bombing of civilians.

... don't support the Constitutional rights of others.

What is your faith in?
Where does it come from?

What do you think the Bible is about?

Are you serving God or are you trying to preserve some ideal, privileged life you are comfortable in?

You are not called to be comfortable.
Christianity isn't about you. It is about "CHRIST."

It isn't about praise teams, who wore what, how long the sermon was, nor any number of other things. There are people in your town dying of treatable diseases. There are elderly sitting at home alone all day, dying from lack of interaction. There are people in your town not sure how they can afford diapers for their baby, shoes for their kids, and food for the week. There are people here that you see everyday who need help.

Serve them. Not by paying for a coffee for someone else driving through Starbucks, but by opening your eyes, minds, wallets, hands, doors, ears, and heart to those around you.
Look at people. Really look at them.
Ask them if they need anything.
Get over your fear of societal appropriateness.
Get into the world.
Be in the world but not of the world. 

This was the life Jesus Christ, the man you profess to follow, lead and died for.
It isn't pretty. It isn't easy. It isn't comfortable.

It is just miraculous, inspiring, earth moving, glorious, and sincere. 

The Divide

The current political situation in the United States is not normal.
The typical transition of power often includes some push back and hurt feelings, but there has never been a time when the new president attempted to dismantle the Constitution of the United States to create a safe haven for themselves and the most wealthy. The current administration has no regard for the Constitution, nor human rights, nor the checks and balances our government is founded upon.

We have come to a point where a man who is petulant, corrupt, and likely suffering from a mental illness, is in charge of the Executive branch. He was put there by "Christians" and is now destroying our clean water, our environment, our education system, our economy, our trade, and our beacon of hope for a better life.

In short, the current political situation has killed the American Dream. President Trump claimed throughout the campaign that he was for "everyday Americans" and "average people" but he has surrounded himself with the business elite, is costing citizens millions for his personal life,...

That is why many people feel the way they do, like they are in mourning.

My 40, 40, 40 Plan

TL;DR:
The world is falling apart. I am a mess. Stress is killer.
I am embracing a new plan that is 120 days of Fasting, Focus, and Faith.
[Comprehensive info below and more coming soon.]

As I take stock of an ever less stable, unsure, and dangerous political situation, life in America seems to be growing quite bleak. I look toward the resistance and people fighting it with respect.

As I look around my own life, I see it falling apart. A marriage undergoing the trials of financial stress, a toddler, job insecurity, crushing student debt, technology dependence, and my weight struggles.  My poor health and lack of energy coupled with my weight problems means I am less productive than ever. My 2 year old has learned how to walk and talk, count, say and recognize the alphabet, and is now continuing his preparation for MENSA; trying to learn everything about the world by defiantly disassembling everything in my house. There is much stress.

I have been looking at ways I can reclaim control (if I ever had any) of my surroundings. I have this crazy idea that if I can control my focus, I can control my life. Anxiety and depression make for an incredibly complex situation where I worry about everything and make all kinds of plans for things I don't want to nor have the energy to do.

Also, there is the issue of Christianity. I am working on another post about my thoughts on modern Christianity, but succinctly I will state that I am repulsed by the Evangelical Christians of the Trump faith. I want to combat their hypocritical manipulations. I choose to do that through truth.

A 40/40/40 Plan. It is 120 days spent on realigning myself and my faith in the increasingly hate filled world. I will outline each one here then write a separate, more in depth post about each one. (Please note, the total number of days is not a literal number, it is just catchy. I am not counting weekends because those are dedicated to God and family.)

40 Days of Fasting
Lent + Easter: "40" Days of sacrifice and abstention for the purpose of growing closer to God through prayer. There is nothing I am changing about Lent and there are many great articles already written about it from perspectives online.

40 Days of Focus
April 17 - June 9: Having just spent 40 days fasting and focusing on my relationship with God, I hope to spend these "40" days in focusing on God's teachings about how I am called to interact with everyone around me. 40 days of focusing on a pragmatic set of principles to govern my life and my actions. 40 days focusing on who I am to be toward others.

40 Days of Faith
June 12 - August 4: Now, 80 days into this, I will have a stronger relationship with God, a pragmatic set of rules for my interactions with the world, and I will be setting out on the next phase in faith. Walking by faith that the Holy Spirit's guidance within my heart will strengthen me as I set out to create a new world paradigm for living as if God's promises through Christ were true.

Grace in Victory and in Defeat

Yesterday, in the United States of America, fear and hate trumped freedom and progress.

I cannot say this enough: DO NOT BECOME THE THING YOU HATE. Rise above. Get involved. Find ways to sew light and love. Do not just sit there and be complacent and defeatist. Now is not the time. KEEP MOVING FORWARD. - Katrina Kratzer 

http://myrosevalley.blogspot.com/2016/11/a-political-911.html